i thought any trauma i might have experienced was probably trivial … and not worth worrying about …. best to “get on with life” that’s what most of us do isn’t it?
an important extract from the book …. first chapter, under “capacity”
Two influences affect capacity significantly: profound rest (positively) and major trauma (negatively). Profound rest, like the organism itself, is physical and psychical. Fasting provides primarily physical rest; darkroom retreating, primarily psychic rest. These can be used together or separately depending on capacity. Capacity is experienced as a sense of ease in doing something.
get the book. http://www.darkroomretreat.com
What trauma? I mean the routine brutality of our lifeway, which touches virtually everyone from before birth. I mean not just the bad things we condemn, but common atrocities we mistakenly accept. I mean offenses to nature, as if it hadn’t already worked out every detail of a happy existence from the beginning of time.
I’m going to list common examples of the plague of polite violence I refer to. My editor, a deeply wise and loving man, has warned me I will lose readers by doing so. I see no way around it. Here’s hoping you can take it.
* unintentional conception and ambivalent pregnancy
* birth intruders (doctor, midwife, priest, etc)
* post-partum attachment failure (through exhaustion, physical separation, and emotional unavailability)
* vaccination, circumcision, formula-milk, illegal public nursing
* absent, pushover, smothering, and abusive parents
* nannies and day care
* cribs, playpens, strollers (the worst designs of all time. They crystallize alienation in the nervous systems of billions.)
* television, computers, games (screen technology causes not mere atrophy, but lifelong damage to the imaginative faculty when much used at critical phases of development.6)
* factory food (including unripe harvesting, chemical farming, genetic modification, irradiation)
* and finally, the last nail so big it splinters the coffin: school.
The violence of job, military, hospital, the street, and prison go without saying.
Of exactly what brutalized you, you may already have some idea. I invite you to find out for sure for yourself in darkness, where you have a real chance to recover from it. Between retreats, the depth psychologists mentioned below can also help provide words for what you are going through.